I spent years seeking the truth about who or what God is. I searched near and far, in philosophy, religion, psychology, astrology, meditation and numerous other mystical concepts. All the so called experts disagreed and often violently so. I finally came to the conclusion that there was no such thing as THE truth.

I determined that each path was valid in its own way but what I was really looking for was the right path for me. All I had to do was find a set of beliefs that I could relate to and work with, to create an internal structure that gave me a sense of love, worth and security. So more searching and experimentation ensued but still no joy, still no path that felt right for me.

Beliefs are wonderful for providing a framework to work within but like all structures they require constant maintenance. For every existential question that is answered by religion another hundred are birthed. Ultimately the beliefs I had adopted became a prison of my own making.

Finally, I realised that every path has a set of beliefs that have been determined by someone else in another time and place and then interpreted and re-interpreted by many others. Did I really want to tie myself up in knots with a set of beliefs that are full of other peoples prejudices, limitations and ignorance? Why was I giving away my power to a bunch of strangers and allowing them to determine what I should think and therefore, how I should act?

So in the end I stopped seeking and decided that whatever or whoever God is, God is individualised as me. I dumped the spiritual/religious baggage that I had subscribed to over the years and just believed in me. The only way I could truly have a relationship with God is through myself. When I believe in my own love, goodness and compassion, then God is alive and living through me. That’s all I really needed to know. I stopped giving away my power and claimed my own internal divinity. This was hugely liberating and empowering and improved my life dramatically. My stress levels plummeted when I stopped trying to appease the God who exists in the mind of others.

My daily spiritual practise consists of meditating on love, health and well-being. I practise expanding my capacity for compassion by looking for ways to understand people instead of condemning them. I take responsibility for my life and the choices I make. When bad things happen I no longer look for someone to blame, or question some distant God as to why. I accept that life is complicated, that there are many questions I will never get the answer to, my time is better spent looking for ways to be at peace with life and its tribulations.

If you are following a religious path that brings you security, joy and fulfilment, I’m happy for you, I truly am. I have no wish to drag you off your chosen path and convert you to my way of thinking. I do not claim to know THE truth of who or what God is. I simply claim to have found a way that works for me. I share this post for my fellow travellers, for those who have followed a spiritual trajectory similar to mine and are looking for some like minded company.

It’s not easy to dance to the beat of your own drum but for some of us, it’s the only way to thrive!


Photo: Elena Ferrer @ Unsplash


Some Kind Of Crazy


did you know that spiders
are aliens in disguise
I read it on a website
so it can not be a lie

apparently they roam
gathering intel on our habits
collate it and send it
back to their planet

now I live in a country
with spiders aplenty
notorious they are
for being the deadliest

I keep a lookout
for the deadly foe
I don’t want to be bitten
on my little toe

but now I have more worries
when I’m in bed asleep
will the alien spiders
come probe my mind deep

was the web author crazy
maybe a little touched
consumed with ideas
of conspiracy, as such

I wish I could forget
this utter alien nonsense
but now every time I see a spider
I wonder, if it’s true

and so my dear friend
now you’ll wonder too
coz crazy is catching
this much is true

Photo: Patrick Hendry @ Unsplash

No Fucking Clue


everyones pain is so very subjective
advice meant for me, is useless to you
living is hard for all to some degree
even the animals are not immune
life is unfair, that much is true
suffering is not distributed in equal measure
we can not know why or even agree
why I should get more or less pain than you
let’s stop pretending there is some easy method
for transforming our lives into endless pleasure
some work their arses off trying to be good
being kind and compassionate and learning to forgive
but it doesn’t guarantee their life will ever get better
others never make any effort to improve their lot
yet fate gives them a hand, brings their dreams to fruition
we can ponder philosophy and practice positivity
dance with religious doctrine and follow the rules
we can speculate all we want but we really have
no fucking clue
yet the human condition precludes us to look
for a reason to explain all this universal pain
because if we understand it, perhaps we can
find a way to prevent it or maybe a cure
unfortunately, I’m ashamed to say
there will always be those, who want to profit
from the misery of our sisters and brothers
they don’t care about others, just their own pockets
but likewise it is true, I’m pleased to say
there are many, who care so very much
they dedicate their lives to relieving suffering
administering their love to uplift another
this is perhaps our only true comfort
in a world filled with pain, with nowhere to dump it


Photo: Sylvain Reygaerts @ Unsplash

Answers You Seek


the answers you seek
are hidden inside
take a little peek
see where they hide

patience to sit
is what you’ll need
a willingness to look
at all that bleeds

it takes some courage
to go in so deep
it might even take
more than a week

but once you’ve mastered
this amazing feat
you’ll no longer beg
at the master’s feet


Photo: Yoori Koo @ Unsplash

What If?


what if
we create the weather
not deliberately
but unconsciously

what if
it’s an observable
like a collective barometer

what if
we were never sad
would the oceans dry up
and the rivers too

and what if
we were never joyful
would the sun cease to shine
and the sky turn grey

what if
we need a balance
of sorrow and happiness
to keep the seasons in tune

I wonder
don’t you?


Photo: Sergey Zolkin @ Unsplash

Perfume Stinks!


perfume stinks
toxic chemicals
don’t you think?

polluting the air
with so little care
smell of yourself
if you really dare

poisoning your body
not to mention the earth
please try to value
your very own worth

rose oil essential
is available to use
normal and natural
with no toxic residue


Photo: Roman Kraft @ Unsplash

Moonbeam Dreams


the man in the moon
is in my room
seeding my dreams
with possibilities new

sprinkling moon dust
in my hair
silvery sparkles
tinkle in the air

shining moon beams
straight into my heart
not long after
he does depart

when I awake
I know it was true
coz I’m no longer
feeling blue


Photo: Anthony Rossbach @ Unsplash